1 00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:11,843 ( yawning) 2 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,245 Oh! Good morning, Dr. Crane. 3 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,060 Not a morning person, are we? 4 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:18,650 Well, never you mind. I am. 5 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,586 Can't very well be a good health-care provider 6 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,988 if you're not up with the cock. 7 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,037 I've already taken your father 8 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,138 for his morning constitutional. 9 00:00:29,162 --> 00:00:31,162 Such a remarkable man. 10 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,365 30 Years on the police force. 11 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,334 I can understand why you'd want him to live here. 12 00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,570 Although not many sons would do that... 13 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,616 Not without getting paid for it. 14 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,007 Anyway, coffee's made 15 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:44,676 and I took the liberty of doing a shop. 16 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:48,012 They don't serve much tripe in Seattle, do they? 17 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,216 And you are? 18 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,585 Daphne. 19 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:55,899 Daphne Moon. 20 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,589 I moved in yesterday. 21 00:00:57,657 --> 00:00:59,402 You hired me to take care of your father. 22 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:00,358 Of course, of course. 23 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:01,726 You'll have to forgive me. 24 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:04,129 I'm not quite myself until I've shaved and showered. 25 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,630 Oh, yes. 26 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,466 I completely understand about one's morning ablutions. 27 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,095 I, for instance, just can't stand meself 28 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:13,171 before I floss all that gunk out of me teeth. 29 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,539 Miss Moon... 30 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,142 for future reference 31 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,277 if you could just keep your "ablutions" 32 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,678 on a need-to-know basis. 33 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,747 Thank you. 34 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:23,315 Now my coffee. 35 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,317 The half-and-half's curdled 36 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,319 and the garbage disposal's jammed. 37 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,907 Oh, good morning to you, too, Dad. 38 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:31,957 Morning was two hours ago. 39 00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:33,959 And close that barn door. 40 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,662 We got a lady in the house now. 41 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,431 Hey, this isn't my coffee. 42 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,434 Where's my finely-ground Kenya blend from Starbucks? 43 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,669 That's it. 44 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:47,172 Daphne put an eggshell and some allspice in it. 45 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,720 And didn't that just dress it up. 46 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,343 I like it. 47 00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:53,611 Gives it a zing. 48 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,180 Now, come on, sit down. 49 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,648 Your breakfast is ready. 50 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:57,749 Oh, no, Dad. 51 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,229 Dad, look, all I ever have 52 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,786 is a bran muffin and a touch of yogurt. 53 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:02,999 Ah, girlie food. 54 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,834 Besides, I already fixed your breakfast. 55 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,169 Now, I made you eggs in a nest. 56 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:07,292 Ah, yes. 57 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:08,893 The Crane family specialty... 58 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,395 Fried eggs swimming in fat 59 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:14,132 served in a delightfully hollowed-out piece of bread. 60 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,667 I can almost hear 61 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,904 my left ventricle slamming shut as I speak. 62 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,917 You want cheese on that? 63 00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,575 No. I'd like to leave some blood flow 64 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,711 for the clot to go swiftly to my brain. 65 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,649 Can't have my coffee. 66 00:02:31,718 --> 00:02:33,351 Can't have my breakfast. 67 00:02:34,754 --> 00:02:37,222 Oh, dear God, it wasn't a dream. 68 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,659 I'll get him for this... 69 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,595 and his little dog, too. 70 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,003 Where is my paper?! 71 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,504 Who stole my paper?! 72 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:55,340 Mrs. Everly, you old bat, I know it's you! 73 00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,419 DAPHNE: Yoo-hoo! 74 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,508 It's right here. 75 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,289 We brought it in for you. 76 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,612 Oh. 77 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,180 Sorry! Sorry! 78 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,283 Now, wait a minute. 79 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,996 This... Where's the rubber band? 80 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,753 This paper has been read. 81 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:09,822 Well, don't worry. 82 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,156 We won't tell you what's in it. 83 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,327 That is not the point. 84 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,439 Dad... 85 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,862 Dad... 86 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,476 Come and sit down, please, will you? 87 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,565 DAPHNE: You're going 88 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,334 to give a speech, aren't you? 89 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,113 Oh, that's right, I forgot. 90 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,337 You're psychic. 91 00:03:26,339 --> 00:03:27,639 Yes, but I think 92 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,208 anyone could feel this one coming on. 93 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,377 Let us get something clear... 94 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,545 I am not a morning person. 95 00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:38,550 I have to ease into my day slowly. 96 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:39,985 First, I have my coffee 97 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,486 sans eggshells 98 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,856 or anything else one tends to pick out of the garbage. 99 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,062 Then, I have a low-fat, high-fiber breakfast. 100 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,596 Finally, I sit down 101 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,166 and read a crisp, new newspaper. 102 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,633 If I am robbed 103 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:58,170 of the richness of my morning routine 104 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,705 I cannot function. 105 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,106 My radio show suffers 106 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,041 and, like ripples in a pond 107 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,577 so do the many listeners that rely on my advice 108 00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,779 to help them through their troubled lives. 109 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,248 I'm sorry if this may sound priggish 110 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:13,718 but I have grown comfortable with this part of myself. 111 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,655 It is the magic that is me. 112 00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:21,159 Get used to it. 113 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:24,574 I know this is a stressful time 114 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:27,043 and this is new for all of us 115 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,511 but I'm sure that soon 116 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,680 we'll all be getting along swimmingly. 117 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,549 Ooh, six more weeks of winter I see. 118 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,172 Oh, dear God! 119 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,062 Down, Eddie, down. 120 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:01,066 I said "down." 121 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,147 Good boy, Eddie, just get down. 122 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,448 Good, good, good, Eddie. 123 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,404 Eddie, get down. 124 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,538 Get down! 125 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:10,176 Dad, Dad... 126 00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,043 I can't read my paper. 127 00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,711 Eddie's staring at me! 128 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,414 Well, you do make quite a picture in the morning. 129 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,051 Just ignore him. 130 00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,129 I'm trying to. 131 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,854 I'm talking to the dog. 132 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,506 Oh! 133 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,114 Don't even think about it! 134 00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,921 You're listening to Dr. Frasier Crane. 135 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,824 Our topic today is intrusion. 136 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:04,896 Those who encroach on our sense of personal space. 137 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,232 The neighbor who plays his stereo too loud... 138 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,167 The person who sits next to you 139 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,601 in the movie theater 140 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,804 when there are 50 other vacant seats. 141 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,073 Now let's return to our calls 142 00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:18,143 and let me remind you once more 143 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,246 that our topic today is intrusion 144 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:24,415 since so many of you seem to be forgetting that. 145 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:27,919 Dr. Crane, we have Leonard from Everett on line two. 146 00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,754 Hello, Leonard. 147 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:30,922 I'm listening. 148 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,424 Oh, hi, Dr. Crane. 149 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,892 Uh... I'm a little nervous, but, uh... 150 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:35,894 well, here it goes. 151 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,061 Um, several years ago 152 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,975 I became afraid of large, open spaces. 153 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:43,434 Like, if I went to the mall, I'd break out in a cold sweat. 154 00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:46,137 I'd get so scared that I'd have to run home. 155 00:06:46,205 --> 00:06:49,407 Yes, Leonard, and your comments on intrusion? 156 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,709 Nothing. 157 00:06:51,778 --> 00:06:54,412 It's just that now I'm afraid to go outside at all. 158 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,382 I haven't seen another person in eight months. 159 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,551 Well, Leonard, it sounds like you may have 160 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:02,220 a very serious condition known as agoraphobia. 161 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,888 But you're not alone. 162 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,624 But I am alone, Dr. Crane. 163 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,630 Listen, Leonard, I'm afraid your problem is too difficult 164 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,677 to deal with in the time we have remaining. 165 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,212 So, if you'll just stay on the line 166 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,803 someone will give you the name of a qualified therapist. 167 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,807 Well, that's all the time we have for today. 168 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,242 You've been listening to Dr. Frasier Crane. 169 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,211 KACL 780. 170 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,678 Stay tuned for the news. 171 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,247 Then next up 172 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:33,251 Bob "Bulldog" Brisco and the Gonzo Sports Show. 173 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,986 I never miss it. 174 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,487 Yeah, right. 175 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,559 You want your messages? 176 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,105 Oh, listen, Roz, just hang on to them. 177 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,763 I think I'll stay in here for a while. 178 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,031 Today, more than most 179 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,811 I feel an overwhelming need for solitude. 180 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,435 I've got a fascinating book here 181 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:54,171 a comfortable chair and a soundproof booth. 182 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,942 ( clattering) 183 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,044 Hi, ya, doc. 184 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,211 How they hanging? 185 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,925 Bulldog, what are you doing here? 186 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,015 We lost transmitter link power in Studio C. 187 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,284 I got to do my show from here. 188 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,618 ( blowing whistle) 189 00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:10,921 Hey... 190 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,435 where in the hell is my Cosell tape? 191 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,225 Somebody stole my Cosell tape! 192 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,393 This stinks! 193 00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:16,894 This is total BS! 194 00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,729 This... oh, here it is. 195 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,911 Let me just get out of your way. 196 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,001 Oh, by the way, Doc... 197 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,402 Doc, I heard what you said 198 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,739 to that kid who fantasizes about killing his parents. 199 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,441 You know what I would have told him? 200 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,776 Sports. 201 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,013 You go out there, break some heads. 202 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,181 That will turn him around. 203 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:41,619 Yes. If only Jeffrey Dahmer had picked up a squash racket. 204 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,633 Hey, where the hell's my Lasorda tape? 205 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,856 This is total...! 206 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,124 Ah, got it. 207 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,592 Uh-uh... hold on a sec. 208 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,572 I have to ask you something. 209 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,565 Gary? I broke up with him three weeks ago. 210 00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,701 The sex was okay, but he was kind of limited. 211 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:57,770 Maybe I should just... 212 00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,014 No, no. 213 00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:00,783 It wasn't that Gary was bad in bed. 214 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,618 I mean, he knew where all the parts were. 215 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,909 Unfortunately, most of them were his. 216 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,990 Yes, totally passionless. 217 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,615 It was like he was thinking of someone else. 218 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,016 I know I was. 219 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,164 Somebody's here. 220 00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:16,332 I got to go. 221 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,567 All right, I'll talk to you later. 222 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,957 Bye, Mom. 223 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,393 That was your mother? 224 00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,962 Yeah. Why? 225 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,396 You talk to your mother like that? 226 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:26,898 Well, we're both adults. 227 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,411 We talk about everything. 228 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:30,534 Well, isn't that healthy. 229 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,448 What? You don't talk to your dad like that? 230 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,505 Oh, hardly. 231 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,073 We hardly speak at all. 232 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,508 Really? 233 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,677 Yes, well, you know, we're not really very similar people. 234 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,912 In fact... 235 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,848 my brother and I are a lot more like my mother. 236 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,783 You know, if it wasn't biologically impossible 237 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,854 I'd swear that Dad was dropped in a basket on our doorstep. 238 00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:53,391 Hey, sweetcakes, you seen my engineer? 239 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,505 I think someone's talking to you, Frasier. 240 00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:56,672 Come on, come on, come on! 241 00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,095 Yes, he called 242 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,064 and he'll be right here. 243 00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,600 So, do you want to go across the street 244 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:05,203 and have one of those expensive coffee drinks? 245 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,738 Maybe some other time. 246 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,273 Right now I'd like to continue my quest for solitude. 247 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:12,254 To go someplace where my father, Mary Poppins 248 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,846 and the hound from hell can't find me. 249 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,215 I think maybe I'll just go 250 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,195 sit under the shade of a tree 251 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,459 and read in a quiet park. 252 00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,189 ( thunder roaring) 253 00:10:26,826 --> 00:10:28,025 Hello! 254 00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,765 Hello? 255 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,633 Dad? 256 00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:38,336 Daphne? 257 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,772 Eddie? 258 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,510 Could it be? 259 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,845 ( chuckling) 260 00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,925 ( humming Bizet's "Toreador Song") 261 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,138 ♪ Toreador ♪ 262 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,907 ♪ Don't spit on the floor-a ♪ 263 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:18,143 ♪ Use the cuspidor-a ♪ 264 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,679 ♪ What do you think it's for-a? ♪ 265 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,548 ( sighs) 266 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,355 ( keys rattling, door opening) 267 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,557 ( laughing) 268 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,225 So the elephant says 269 00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,026 "He's with me." 270 00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,129 ( both laugh) 271 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,698 DAPHNE: Oh, Dr. Crane, you're home. 272 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:43,468 We just got back from your father's physical therapy. 273 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,802 Oh, glory be. 274 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,203 Oh, happy day. 275 00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,183 Not that I'm not delighted to see the two of you 276 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,742 it's just that I'm in the middle of a very exciting chapter. 277 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,410 Oh, I understand. 278 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,956 So, why don't I pop into the kitchen 279 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,358 and brew you up a nice pot of tea. 280 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,525 No. I've just poured myself 281 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,482 a glass of wine. Thank you. 282 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,318 I see. 283 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,759 What are you reading? 284 00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:12,096 Oh, Dad, you wouldn't find it very interesting. 285 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,998 I might. Any good? 286 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,045 Well, I haven't formed an opinion yet. 287 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,604 Oddly enough, I'm having a little trouble getting into it. 288 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,213 Thick. 289 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,449 Dad, will you... 290 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,496 listen, I don't want to offend, but... 291 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,653 if you wouldn't mind, could you just... 292 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,890 leave me alone and let me read my book? 293 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,239 No problem. 294 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:44,662 ( thunder roars) 295 00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,631 ( rain pouring) 296 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,235 What are you doing? 297 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:52,169 I'm leaving you alone. 298 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,170 Well, it's very annoying! 299 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:54,706 Oh... what's your problem? 300 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,442 You've been sucking a lemon all week. 301 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,321 All right, all right, I'll tell you problem is 302 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,123 I can't get a moment's peace in my own house. 303 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,613 Well, forgive me! 304 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,127 When you invited me to move in 305 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,583 I didn't realize 306 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,897 I had to stay chained to the radiator in my room. 307 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,254 Perhaps only evenings. 308 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:10,566 I heard that. 309 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,522 Well, of course you heard it! 310 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,957 You're never out of earshot! 311 00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,637 Ah, you know, you've always been like this. 312 00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:15,938 You were always a fussy little kid 313 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,206 and it's gotten worse ever since. 314 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,897 You and your precious morning routine. 315 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,166 You got to have your coffee. 316 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,500 You got to have your quiet. 317 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,380 You got to have this, you got to have that. 318 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,348 Well, aren't you the little hothouse orchid! 319 00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,805 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 320 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:30,174 I don't have to sit here and listen to that! 321 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,687 If you want everything so perfect 322 00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,222 why don't you go live in a bubble? 323 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,611 Oh, well, all right. 324 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,781 Right now it sounds very inviting. 325 00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:44,154 Finally a little peace and quiet around here. 326 00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:52,662 ( people talking quietly) 327 00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:54,164 Hello, there, Frasier. 328 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,767 Oh, what fresh hell is this? 329 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:03,306 Well, that's a nice way to greet your brother. 330 00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:05,108 Caffe latte, per piacere. 331 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,112 I'm sorry, Niles 332 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,658 it's just that I've been trying to read this book. 333 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,161 And it seems no matter where I light, I get interrupted. 334 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,018 Oh, The Holotropic Mind by Stanislav Grof. 335 00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,465 I love his conclusion that a change in breathing patterns 336 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,267 can induce alternate states of consciousness. 337 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:22,125 Great. Now you've ruined the ending! 338 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:24,962 I'm sorry. 339 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,329 That was inconsiderate. 340 00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:27,831 Mille grazie. 341 00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:34,238 So, how's Father? 342 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,251 Father? You mean the man who's driving me crazy. 343 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,654 The man who makes me dread the sight of my very doorstep. 344 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,522 The man who just drove me out of my own home. 345 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,480 And how's work? 346 00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:47,284 Niles, I don't know what I'm going to do. 347 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,286 Dad and I had another fight. 348 00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:52,289 See, I'm afraid if we stay under the same roof together 349 00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:54,091 we'll do irreparable harm 350 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,994 to the relationship we have as it is. 351 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,929 Well, what are the alternatives? 352 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,975 Well, if I didn't feel so guilty 353 00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:04,334 I'd... I'd do what I should have done in the first place: 354 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:08,172 just move Dad and Daphne into their own apartment. 355 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,941 Oh, for goodness sake, Frasier, it hasn't been that long. 356 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:12,510 You have to give it a chance. 357 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,723 And you might remember why you moved him in in the first place. 358 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:15,946 Refresh me. 359 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:18,415 You wanted to get closer to Dad. 360 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,594 I still do. 361 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,962 There isn't anything I'd like more 362 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:22,097 but he makes it impossible. 363 00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:23,054 I can't read my book. 364 00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:24,366 I can't have my coffee. 365 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,402 I can't have any peace in my own home. 366 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,892 So, what you're saying is, you want to be closer to Dad 367 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,760 but you don't actually want him around. 368 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,402 Ask yourself, Frasier, have you tried to sit down 369 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:39,736 and talk to him? 370 00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,539 I mean, really talk to him? 371 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,774 Well, I... 372 00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:48,278 Maybe I haven't done my best. 373 00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:53,049 I guess I owe that to the old man, don't I? 374 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:56,854 Well, uh... 375 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:58,889 Thanks for the chat, Niles. 376 00:15:58,957 --> 00:16:00,237 You're a good brother 377 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,459 and a credit to the psychiatric profession. 378 00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:04,161 You're a good brother, too. 379 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,301 ( door opening) 380 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,636 FRASIER: Daphne! 381 00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:14,638 What are my things doing here? 382 00:16:14,706 --> 00:16:17,241 My leather wing chair, my Tisami lamp? 383 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,630 We're putting them in the storage room in the basement. 384 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,423 There was no room for them in your study 385 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:22,658 once we got my furniture in. 386 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,959 We discussed it last night, remember? 387 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,116 Of course, of course. 388 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,518 I was just on my way 389 00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:30,521 to ask that peculiar little man from building services 390 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,888 to give me a hand moving them. 391 00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:32,990 Oh, yes. Kyle. 392 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,058 Well, give him my regards. 393 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,393 Oh, yeah, remind me again... 394 00:16:36,461 --> 00:16:40,297 Which one of Kyle's eyes is really looking at me? 395 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,867 The brown one. 396 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,613 Daphne left your dinner in the fridge, if you're hungry. 397 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,616 Thanks, but I'm... I'm not. Uh... 398 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,285 Dad... 399 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,921 Listen, I'm sorry about, uh, the blowup earlier. 400 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,490 Ah, forget about it. 401 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,691 I already have. 402 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,193 You know, I guess it's no secret 403 00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,039 that there's been a lot of tension between us. 404 00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,730 And I think maybe one of the reasons is 405 00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:14,475 that we never have a chance to sit down and talk 406 00:17:14,499 --> 00:17:17,835 and I... I thought we might have a conversation. 407 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:20,103 Right now? 408 00:17:20,172 --> 00:17:22,740 Yes, I think now would be a good time. 409 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,742 Later would be better. 410 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,778 It doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out conversation. 411 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,713 I'm talking about three minutes of your life. 412 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,392 Well, I hope it only is three minutes 413 00:17:31,416 --> 00:17:32,716 'cause my program's coming on. 414 00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:35,585 Well, if it will make you any happier 415 00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,987 I'll get the egg timer 416 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,367 and I will set it for three minutes. 417 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,791 So, what do you want to talk about? 418 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,727 Well, the idea is for us to have 419 00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:46,663 a normal, honest conversation just like two normal people 420 00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,932 without getting on each other's nerves. 421 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,670 All right, ready... 422 00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,442 Go. 423 00:17:58,511 --> 00:17:59,977 This is stupid. 424 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,278 One second? 425 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,046 That's our personal best? 426 00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:10,354 Let us see if we can beat it. 427 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,624 Ready? 428 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,425 Go. 429 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,361 ( clock ticking) 430 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,829 So, how about those Seahawks? 431 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:20,698 No sports. 432 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,831 All right, no opera. 433 00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:22,900 Agreed. 434 00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,638 Ready? 435 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,274 Go. 436 00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,978 This is your idea. 437 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,545 You say something first. 438 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,314 All right. All right. 439 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,983 I'll-I'll tell you something about myself 440 00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,985 that, uh, you don't know. 441 00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,587 Uh, six months ago 442 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:48,158 when Lilith and I were really on the rocks 443 00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:51,595 uh... there was a time of depression I went through 444 00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:54,231 that was so terrible, I actually... 445 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,299 climbed out on a ledge 446 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:59,035 and wondered if life was worth living. 447 00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:01,938 And... then I... 448 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,508 I thought of Frederick. 449 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,610 And you didn't jump, huh? 450 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:14,084 Good, Dad. 451 00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,120 Wow, I never knew that. 452 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,723 That's the point of this whole experiment... 453 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,091 To... to tell one another 454 00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:23,426 something that we don't know about each other... 455 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,561 Something vulnerable. 456 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,229 Now it's your turn. 457 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:29,299 Okay. 458 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,868 Well, about two months ago 459 00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,047 I was in the basement 460 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,282 going through some old pictures 461 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:35,550 of your mother and me 462 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:39,609 and all of a sudden something flew up in my eye. 463 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,918 And when I was trying to get it out 464 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:45,148 I realized that I could turn my eyelid inside out 465 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,850 the way kids do at camp. 466 00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:48,986 That's it? 467 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,687 You call that vulnerable? 468 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:51,822 It hurt! 469 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:55,125 I'm not talking about that kind of pain! 470 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:58,328 I'm talking about your emotions, your soul! 471 00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,531 Some sort of painful, gut-wrenching experience! 472 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,133 Other than this one? 473 00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:04,379 Oh, God... always a flip answer. 474 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:06,180 Well, this whole thing's stupid. 475 00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:07,738 Well, not to me. 476 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,340 Oh, how should I expect anything out of you? 477 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:13,343 You are the most cold, intractable, unapproachable 478 00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:16,013 distant, stubborn, cold man I've ever known. 479 00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,758 You said "cold" twice, Mr. Egghead. 480 00:20:17,782 --> 00:20:18,848 Egghead! Egghead! 481 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,683 You said "egghead" twice, too! 482 00:20:20,752 --> 00:20:22,318 Oh, you are so infuriating! 483 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,032 Well, you're no day at the beach, either. 484 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,066 You know what you are? 485 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,156 ( timer dings) 486 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:27,591 I'll tell you later. 487 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,980 It's time for my program. 488 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,266 Dad, I don't think you see how serious this is. 489 00:20:36,334 --> 00:20:37,901 Oh, will you give it a rest? 490 00:20:37,969 --> 00:20:39,280 Look, we're not getting along 491 00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,706 and it's not getting any better. 492 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:46,443 I'm not sure how to say this, but, uh... 493 00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:47,577 I, uh... 494 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,715 I'm afraid I'm going to have to... 495 00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:52,994 I know what you're trying to say. 496 00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,362 You want what's best for both of us. 497 00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:56,854 You want to get me out of here 498 00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:59,122 then you can have your own space 499 00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,457 and I'll have my own space 500 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,303 and we can put an end to all this bickering. 501 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,594 Well, yes. 502 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:06,663 I guess it wasn't so hard to say, after all. 503 00:21:06,732 --> 00:21:08,131 Except for one thing. 504 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,432 I'm not going. 505 00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,567 What? 506 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,002 Look, you want us to forge 507 00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:13,870 some great father-son relationship... 508 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,338 to make some connection. 509 00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,708 Well, that kind of thing takes a couple of years 510 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,375 not a couple of days, doesn't it? 511 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,444 You're the shrink. 512 00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:23,347 A couple of years, huh? 513 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,382 Ah, it'll go by before you know it. 514 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,887 Either that, or it will seem like eternity. 515 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:38,895 I'm willing to give it a shot if you are. 516 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:41,965 Okay. 517 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,233 Great. 518 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,213 How about you and me having a beer together? 519 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,369 Wow. 520 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:47,816 You know, in all these years 521 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,320 you've never asked me that. 522 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,743 I'd love to have a beer with you, Dad. 523 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,921 Well, then, you better haul ass 524 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:55,223 'cause the store closes in ten minutes. 525 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:56,747 Right. 526 00:21:56,815 --> 00:22:00,050 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 527 00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:05,456 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a'callin' ♪ 528 00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:09,159 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 529 00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:10,594 ♪ Mercy ♪ 530 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,623 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused ♪ 531 00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,832 ♪ Well, maybe, but I got you pegged ♪ 532 00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,668 ( laughing) 533 00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,403 ♪ But I don't know what to do ♪ 534 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:23,740 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs ♪ 535 00:22:23,809 --> 00:22:25,442 ♪ They're callin' again. ♪ 536 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,210 Good night!